Starting the new year off with goals can be invigorating. It’s a push towards what you want from life. Or a reconnection with yourself. This roadmap is your strategy for going, doing, and being.

January can often be surreal for some. It’s a holiday rollover. Another month of a packed schedule. And sometimes it’s hard to reset to get in tune with you right now.

For me, February 1, is always a harsh reminder of the interruption of that fresh start. Ten years ago on that day, I lost someone very dear to me. We were on a high of another lapse in connection after one of our many passive-aggressive conflicts (being petty and stubborn). Having just enjoyed fellowship the same night of his demise, life was never the same. Looking at the timeline of events while maneuvering through a downward social-emotional journey to the abyss (and back) versus where my wholeness is now – I have grown to reimagine the month as the official kickstart to the year. January was just the planning part … *laughs aloud like Mojo Jojo from the Powerpuff Girls*.

January, for me, truly is always a continuation of pushing through final plans from the year before. February is intense. It’s the start of actualizing what I manifested in January (or before). Yes, small actions and movements were taken during January. But this is where the bolder and more disciplined approaches come into play.

With work trying to push fresh plans or goals, people trying to get on your calendar, more celebrations, more people (and their emotions), and what can seem like delusive goals of others being forced into your space– February 1 is the first reassessment, realignment, and recalibration of the year.

The altered narrative that February symbolized is all about reclaiming the month and memories from a cherished yet stained past; and then moving them into the light of your bright future. Sometimes the first month of the year can hit hard. But that second month is all yours.

Antorris, what are you trying to say? Bro, you haven’t changed in a month. Sis, people haven’t magically become someone new and different in thirty days or less.

Everybody, wake back up and tune in to you and your goals – let them eat cake!

Use the second month of the year to dive deeper into your discipline and focus. If you learned nothing in January, beyond the deep dive think pieces and hype of “a new year new me”, you have engaged with another 365 days of first-hand experience that people will be not pushing your purpose. You’ll have to do that. Focus on you. Mind your business and work it too.

Here are my tips for recentering on yourself and owning February:

1. Pray. Cry. Mediate. Worship. We are not taking God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit out of the equation. It’s your relationship to navigate. Your time cadence to manage. I fall short, but at minimum, I can say “thank you Lord” any chance I get or put on a worship playlist. I would rather fall asleep praying and risk not getting all my prayers out, than not praying at all. Schedule time if you must. But this relationship is significant to owning your journey. Oh, and get your money blessed too, pay your tithe, and give an offering. If you can commit to this, you can commit to you.
2. Choose a day and make it your day. We talk about self-care and turning up or fun. But do you ever set aside time to exist? Once a week, I am going to sit around to be fat and ugly, watch tv, eat snacks, and exist with my thoughts and being. To me, that is different from intentional self-care. Existing without obligation or intent for a day or even half-day is a thrilling refuel. We get so caught up in the action that we forget to “just be”. In those moments, I find clarity and hear more from above. But also, the value of me returns from the drainage.
3. “And I sat my fat a** down and shut the f*ck up.” Some friends and I have this tag line that stems from a running joke one of our mentors shared when he story tells. The key to the message was minding your own business. In the intense moment of the story, he realized it was not his battle or fight nor cross to bare… and he sat his …. and shut the …… Let that resonate. January perfected my ability to observe and take notes without mental or emotional angst while minding the business that impacts me.
4. Some guilty pleasures are good! We find ourselves wanting to save so we don’t eat out, have that cocktail, or buy that item. I believe that: if you are not overindulging, robbing Peter to pay Paul, priorities are handled, and there is no harm – indulging is not bad. You probably earned it, and your spirit is leading you to it. I so wanted to stick to eating veggies and fruit as much as possible – but I wanted a porkchop at Virgil’s Gullah Kitchen in Atlanta. I ate my pork chop, fried hard, and liked it!
5. Deep listening is key! Thank you for your opinion and feedback. Were you asked for it? Sometimes listening and acknowledgement of listening is all you need. We find ourselves caught up in others and off track because we don’t listen or listen deeply. Listening hits on so many levels. There is explicit – the play on words and language. There is implicit – the undertone and what is not being said or buried. And of course, there is spiritual listening and discernment. Use February to listen to yourself and those around you, deep listening helps you to refocus on self because you’ll process everything that needs to be comprehended for realignment to your goals. Talk less, listen more.

This month it is perfectly okay to say, “I fell short here and will do better there.” It’s not a race, it’s a marathon. The only runner is you. Give yourself grace. But most of all, in all these goals and affirmations – find you! Connect them to you! Benefit you. Our purpose and ministry may be connected to people, but not at the expense of our being.

Love you, but I love me more!

Credits: Image by Freepik

My January empowerment song is below. I hope it helps you!